I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
