Do you still have your period?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
