I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
