I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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