My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
