She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize