even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Watching her eat just hurts me
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
