Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
