They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
false alarm. still invincible.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
