I should be sponsored by Trojan
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize