so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
