so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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