no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
