am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Small penises have feelings too.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
