I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
