Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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