Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
