And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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