my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
