Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
