Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
