omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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