Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
not ubering you a puppy
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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