I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
