we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
