and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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