How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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