WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
