would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I had to cum in my sink.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
