now i know why i became what i already was.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
