I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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