I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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