I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
