You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
