Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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