hotel room ftw
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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