there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
