its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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