i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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