hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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