Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
