well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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