either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
