If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
