is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
