as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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