he was CRYING into my vagina
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
