Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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