Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
