All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Dicks are not precious.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
