I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
