Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
