we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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