please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wish i was in the wii world.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
