Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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