Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it glows. i had to have it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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