okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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