I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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