He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
