What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
