Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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