I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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