I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
