I'm so fucking centered right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
