textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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