he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
