No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
