the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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