even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
