At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
